The Two Sheridans

Sheridan made his appearance one day in a pair of new boots; these
attracting the notice of some of his friends: "Now guess," said he, "how
I came by these boots?" Many probable guesses were then ventured, but in
vain. "No," said Sheridan, "no, you have not hit it, nor ever will. I
bought them, and paid for them!" Sheridan was very desirous that his
son Tom should marry a young lady of large fortune, but knew that Miss
Callander had won his son's heart. Sheridan, expatiating once on the
folly of his son, at length broke out: "Tom, if you marry Caroline
Callander, I'll cut you off with a shilling!" Tom, looking maliciously
at his father, said, "Then, sir, you must borrow it." In a large party
one evening, the conversation turned upon young men's allowances at
college. Tom deplored the ill-judging parsimony of many parents in that
respect. "I am sure, Tom," said his father, "you have no reason to
complain; I always allowed you L800 a-year." "Yes, father, I confess you
allowed it; but then--it was never paid!"

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