|A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, "I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died." The ma... Read more of Cat on the roof at Free Jokes.ca|| Informational|
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Toasts And Sentiments
Merit to gain a heart, and sense to keep it.
Money to him that has spirit to use it.
More friends and less need of them.
May those who deceive us be always deceived.
May the sword of justice be swayed by the hand of mercy.
May the brow of the brave never want a wreath of laurel.
May we be slaves to nothing but our duty, and friends to nothing but
May he that turns his back on his friend, fall into the hands of his
May honor be the commander when love takes the field.
May reason guide the helm when passion blows the gale.
May those who would enslave become slaves themselves.
May genius and merit never want a friend.
May the road of happiness be lighted by virtue.
May life last as long as it is worth wearing.
May we never murmur without a cause, and never have a cause to murmur.
May the eye that drops for the misfortunes of others never shed a tear
for its own.
May the lovers of the fair sex never want means to support and spirit to
defend them. May the tear of misery be dried by the hand of
May the voyage of life end in the haven of happiness.
Provision to the unprovided.
Peace and honest friendship with all nations; entangling alliances with
Riches to the generous, and power to the merciful.
Short shoes and long corns to the enemies of freedom.
Success to the lover, and joy to the beloved.
The life we love, with whom we love.
The friend we love, and the woman we dare trust.
The union of two fond hearts.
The lovers of honor, and honorable lovers.
The unity of hearts in the union of hands.
The liberty of the press without licentiousness.
The virtuous fair, and the fair virtuous.
The road to honor through the plains of virtue.
The hero of Saratoga--may his memory animate the breast of every
The American's triumvirate, love, honor and liberty.
The memory of Washington.
May the example of the new world regenerate the old.
Wit without virulence, wine without excess, and wisdom without
What charms, arms and disarms.
Home pleasant, and our friends at home.
Woman--She needs no eulogy, she speaks for herself.
Friendship--May its lamp ever be supplied by the oil of truth and
The American Navy--May it ever sail on the sea of glory.
May those who are discontented with their own country leave their
country for their country's good.
Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. May we always remember
these three things: The manner, the place and the time.
Here's a sigh to those who love me,
And a smile to those who hate,
And whatever sky's above me,
Here's a heart for every fate.
Were't the last drop in the well,
As I gasped upon the brink,
Ere my fainting spirit fell,
'Tis to thee that I would drink.
Caddy's Toast in Erminie--'Ere's to the 'ealth o' your Royal 'Ighness;
hand may the skin o' ha gooseberry be big enough for han humbrella to
cover hall your enemies.
Here's to the girl I love,
And here's to the girl who loves me,
And here's to all that love her whom I love,
And all those that love her who love me.
I will drink to the woman who wrought my woe,
In the diamond morning of long ago;
To the splendor, caught from Orient skies,
That thrilled in the dark of her hazel eyes,
Her large eyes filled with the fire of the south,
And the dewy wine of her warm red mouth.
May those that are single get wives to their mind,
And those that are married true happiness find.
Here's a health to me and mine,
Not forgetting thee and thine;
And when thou and thine
Come to see me and mine,
May we and mine make thee and thine
As welcome as thou and thine
Have ever made me and mine.
Industry.--The right hand of fortune, the grave of care, and the cradle
Here's to the prettiest,
Here's to the wittiest,
Here's to the truest of all who are true.
Here's to the sweetest one,
Here's to them all in one--here's to you.
Our Country.--May she always be in the right--but, right or wrong, Our
Country.-- Stephen Decatur.
Here's to our sweethearts and our wives. May our sweethearts soon become
our wives and our wives ever remain our sweethearts.
Here's to the girls of the American shore;
I love but one, I love no mare.
Since she's not here to drink her part,
I drink her share with all my heart.
Here's to one and only one,
And may that one be she
Who loves but one and only one,
And may that one be me.
A glass is good and a lass is good,
And a pipe to smoke in cold weather.
The world is good and the people are good,
And we're all good fellows together.
Yesterday's yesterday while to-day's here,
To-day is to-day till to-morrow appear,
To-marrow's to-morrow until to-day's past,
And kisses are kisses as long as they last.
To her we drink, for her we pray,
Our voices silent never;
For her we'll fight, come what may;
The Stars and Stripes forever.
Woman.--The fairest work of the great Author; the edition is large, and
no man should be without a copy.
Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge thee mine;
Or leave a kiss within the cup,
And I'll not look for wine.
The thirst that from the soul doth rise
Doth ask a drink divine;
But might I of Jove's nectar sip,
I would not change from thine.
Drink to-day and drown all sorrow;
You shall perhaps not do't to-morrow;
Best while you have it, use your breath;
There is no drinking after death.
--Beaumont and Fletcher.
Home.--The father's kingdom; the child's paradise; the mother's world.
Here's to those I love;
Here's to those who love me;
Here's to those who love those I love,
And here's to those who love those who love those who love me.
--Ouida's Favorite Toast.
A little health, a little wealth,
A little house and freedom,
With some friends for certain ends,
But little cause to need 'em.
Here's to the lasses we've loved, my lad,
Here's to the lips we've pressed;
For of kisses and lasses,
Like liquor in glasses,
The last is always the best.
Come in the evening, come in the morning,
Come when you're looked for, come without warning.
Here's to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and a true one,
A cold bottle and another one.
The Man We Love.--He who thinks the most and speaks the least ill of his
False Friends.--May we never have friends who, like shadows, keep close
to us in the sunshine only to desert us on a cloudy day or in the night.
Here's to those who'd love us if we only cared.
Here's to those we'd love if we only dared.
Here's to one another and one other, whoever he or she may be.
The world is filled with flowers,
And flowers are filled with dew,
And dew is filled with love
And you and you and you.
Here's to you as good as you are,
And to me as bad as I am;
And as good as you are and as bad as I am,
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am.
The Law.--The only thing certain about litigation is its uncertainty.
The Lawyer--Learned gentleman, who rescues your estate from your enemies
and keeps it for himself.
A Spreadeagle Toast.--The boundaries of our country: East, by the rising
sun; north, by the north pole; west by all creation; and south, by the
day of judgment.
When going up the bill of prosperity may you never meet a friend coming
May the hinges of friendship never grow rusty.
Come, come, good wine is a good familiar creature, if it be well
Shall I ask the brave soldier who fights by my side in the cause of
mankind whether our creeds agree?
May all single men be married, and all married men be happy.
Our Country's Emblem:--
The lily of France may fade,
The thistle and shamrock wither,
The oak of England may decay,
But the stars shine on forever.
The Good Things of the World.--Parsons are preaching for them, lawyers
are pleading for them, physicians are prescribing for them, authors are
writing for them, soldiers are fighting for them, but true philosophers
alone are enjoying them.
My life has been like sunny skies
When they are fair to view;
But there never yet were lives or skies
Clouds might not wander through.
The Three Great American Generals.--General Peace, General Prosperity
and General Satisfaction.
Our hearts, our hopes are all with thee,
Our hearts, our hopes, our prayers, our tears,
Our faith triumphant o'er our fears,
Are all with thee, are all with thee.
Our National Birds.--The American Eagle, the Thanksgiving Turkey: may
one give us peace in all our States--and the other a piece for all our
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