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Riddles Old And New

Feet have they, but they walk not--stoves.

Eyes have they, but they see not--potatoes.

Noses have they, but they smell not--tea-pots.

Mouths have they, but they taste not--rivers.

Hands have they, but they handle not--clocks.

Ears have they, but they hear not--corn stalks.

Tongues have they, but they talk not--wagons.

What thing is that which is lengthened by being cut at both ends? A


Why do we all go to bed? Because the bed will not come to us.

Why Paris like the letter F? Because it is the capital of France.

In which month do ladies talk least? In February.

Why is a room full of married folks like an empty room? There is not a

single person in it.

Why is a peach-stone like a regiment? It has a kernel (Colonel).

Why is an island like the letter T? Because it is in the midst of


Why is a bee-hive like a spectator? Because it is a beeholder


What is that which a train cannot move without, and yet is not the least

use to it? A noise.

When is a man over head and ears in debt? When the hat he has on is not

paid for.

Why is a man led astray like one governed by a girl? He is misled


Why is a Jew in a fever like a diamond? He is a Jew ill (jewel).

Why are fixed stars like pen, ink and paper? They are stationary


What is that which is always invisible and never out of sight? The

letter I.

Why is a cook like a barber? He dresses hare (hair).

Why is a waiter like a race horse? He often runs for a plate or a cup.

Why is a madman like two men? He is one beside himself.

Why is a good story like a church bell? It is often told (tolled).

What is the weight of the moon? Four quarters.

What sea would make the best bed-room? Adriatic (a-dry attic).

Why is Ireland likely to become rich? Because the capital is always

Dublin (doubling).

What two letters make a county in Massachusetts? S. X. (Essex).

Why is a good saloon like a bad one? Both inn convenient

Why do dentists make good politicians? Because they have a great pull.

Why is the Hudson River like a shoe? Because it is a great place for

tows (toes).

Why is a race at a circus like a big conflagration? Because the heat is

in tents (intense).

Which is the left side of a plum pudding? The part that is not eaten.

Why is a man who runs in debt like a clock? He goes on tick.

Why is the wick of a candle like Athens? It is in the midst of grease


Why are deep sighs like long stockings? Heigh-ho's (high hose).

What occupation is the sun? A tanner.

Why are your eyes like stage horses? They are always under lashes.

Why are your teeth like verbs? Regular, irregular and defective?

What word makes you sick if you leave out one of its letters? Music.

What word of ten letters can be spelled with five? Expediency (X P D N


Why should red-headed men be chosen for soldiers? They carry fire-locks.

Why is the letter D like a sailor? It follows the sea (C).

Why is a theological student like a merchant? Both study the Prophets


If the alphabet were invited out to dine what time would U, V, W, X, Y

and Z go? After tea (T).

How can you take one from nineteen and leave twenty? XIX--XX